A new beginning...

I decided to delete all my posts in this blog, and start anew...=) Wasnt hard to delete all 100 over posts...was surprised that I just hit the delete button without a 2nd thought..hmmm

Well, been a long time since I last wrote...now feeling a little out of place...there are many things to say and to write, and so little clue as to how I should put it into words...=X

I was just looking through the wish list that I have set up in this blog and I read this: "A New Business", and I was surprised. I have been thinking about this for quite some time now, but I don't remember thinking about this just for sooo long!? I have been procastinating and delaying with all kind of excuses, all kind of reasons, from inexperience to lack of time, funds, products....anything and everything has become my reasons...

I need to get my lazy bones out of the way, so that I can finally have the courage to do it. I can feel the burden from my heart...knowing that this is something that I should do and yet, not have the guts to do it. Nor do I feel that I am willing to spend all the time that I have doing something more meaningful then FB. This is what sickens me more than anything. I am disappointed in myself, and disgusted at my lack of motivation, despite all the push factors surrounding me. I fear that I will fail, I fear that I do not have what it takes. These becomes my reasons to not do it.

However, God is always good. I have been asking Him for courage, for strength, and He gave me these words: "Lauch out into the deep and cast your nets down for a catch" from Luke 5:4. It has always been Luke for me...no matter what I pray for, it is always Luke who offers the answer. God has given me so many affirmations...from daily devotions to rhema words like this, and yet, I am still afraid. I am not sure why it is that I am holding back...but I am...and I just do not understand it. =(

In the end, I decided to help myself by enrolling into a course from Ngee Ann called Entreprenuership and Business Development in order to clear my doubts about the knowledge and how I should start a business. I have already attended the first lesson and I must say that I really enjoyed the course. I hope that this course will really help me to finally push on to start that business that I always wanted to start.

I need to have an alternative income, a way to earn my own keep. Things at work ain looking good, and my health is also suffering from all the tiredness and "tortures" that comes from working on shifts. I need to have something that I can build upon so that I can become independent finacially. That way, I wouldn't have to worry about the job anymore...I can leave anytime then.

Well, before I can think about leaving, I need to set up my own website, selling things, marketing things...and that is easier said than done. I have no idea what to do and it is really difficult for me to get it going. Books can be tough to understand, and I struggled with them...it is really tough going just doing it alone. However, partners that I so-called have are all not interested enough. Makes me really frustrated, but nothing I can do. I can only struggle on myself. But I believe in reaping what I sow. I will definitely be able to figure out all of these if I would just trust God and myself. =)

I think I should start a new post to talk about something else...this topic is kinda...erm....haha...